As I watch the sunset over a raging sea, with the rocks bearing the brunt of the volatile waves, nursing my gin and tonic in company of a person who I fell in and out of love with so many times that I lost count. However this was a definitive good-bye, farewell not to him but the wild hope of that unrequited love coming to life tugged at my heart, and pulled tears to the corner of my well trained eyes. My breath wavers, as I watch my necklace glint on his neck in the amber light of the setting sun and take in his skin, which I know all too well and not at all at the same time, washed in the delicate orange, I let go of the hope.
I pick a tissue and use his wobbling ball point pen to write something on the lines of:
Not all perfect endings are happy,
Not all painful endings are violent
Some are like a slow pain of healing wound in the comfort of sadness and nostalgia
Where you just touch their forehead with your lips for one last time
Where you just gaze in their rich whiskey brown eyes, seeing your solo sorrow reflected in theirs,
Just holding on to their face between your hands taking one eternal second too long just to remember how it feels,
Just a second longer than your usual embrace to remember how they felt in your arms
Just taking one last longing second before you truly let go
Before you accept that your arms won’t ever hold them again
Just one longing look into their glinting eyes in the sun, with a sea of sorrow of their own, matching the rage of yours
And you walk away with peaceful tears
Tears drop down on the fragile tissue as I look up from the paper, the sea is the same however it's darker, surrounded by city lights, in the city of love; the irony makes me smile. As I get up from the pavement of Marine Drive, my necklace trickles down to the unruly rocks near the sea. Fitting. I smirk and walk away with the lines, isi shauq ka inthaha zindagi hai, blaring in my ears.
